An the award for the best therapist goes to...

Thank God for Clinton - a highly qualified therapist/TCM who treats people using a mix of Chinese medicine, acupuncture, a form of kinesiology etc etc.

I have chronic backache, which is due to a sacro-illiac strain (muscles that connect my sacrum to my legs) amongst other things. Today he worked his magic for an hour and the relief from the stiffness and pain is miraculous!

But that's not all...

Last year, he gave me facial acupuncture which knocked years off me - I looked 23 again and not a knife of injection in sight.

If anyone out there has any type of ailment or problem, I bet he can help. Call him on 01253 728035. He's based in a clinic in St Annes.

Here endeth the lesson of St Clinton that I just had to share.

I'm thoughful like that.

Driving - don't get me started

I live in a small village quite close to a town made up predominantly of pensioners.

Now, I come from the city, so I'm used to a fast pace, aggression and general driving stress. What I can't hack, however, is people who indicate where they are going, seemingly by telepathy and people driving miles and miles at 15 mph.

Don't get me wrong, I may not be The Stig myself, but I do remember a lot of the Highway Code and my mummy brought me up to have manners. So how come most people in this area make me suffer temporarily from a form of driving Tourette's?

The times I have gone on the outside lane of a dual carriageway only to get stuck behind someone who is driving slower than those in the inside lane - and they wonder why you get irate and even geture obsenities! Unfortunately, these are usually women. SHAME ON YOU!

Old people saunter along without a care in the world. They have time to meander down a 50mph road at 25 and even have the audacity to look at you as if you are the bad driver. I often wonder if one of them has actually died at the wheel. I have even been behind one who just stopped in the middle of the road without warning. WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

Why do they need to go out at rush hour and hold everyone up? Are they getting their own back for what they did in the war?

When you hit 60, you get a free bus pass - TAKE THE HINT.

Topic 1 - the gym

I've just returned to our local gym after about a year out of the saddle. So to speak.

Now, I want to go there in relative seclusion, you know, just quietly die of a heart attack in the corner covered in sweat and unable to walk, so why is it we get young 'ladies' in their crop tops and Lycra shorts who quite obviously a size 6, prancing round like they own the joint?

Is it a case of them trying to cop off with a muscly wide boy? A footballer? A gym instructor? Or do they simply derive their pleasure from hacking every other woman on a cross-trainer off with their skinny physiques?

WHAT IS THE POINT OF GOING TO A GYM? YOU ARE ALREADY SKELETAL!

For God's sake girls, buy a DVD or walk more- it's cheaper. And then 'normal' people like me don't have to mix with you unless we go to some crappy city-centre bar on a Thursday night (and, to be honest, I would rather eat my own spleen).

Is it me, or when you've come out of the shower and you are simply trying to apply some make-up (because you haven't saved enough for the Botox yet) the rabble of skinny totty flick their hair in your face at the mirror and generally get in you space? You can't get to your locker for their gossip and fake designer handbags.

Is it because they are young and cocky or skinny and cocky or because they are asking for it from an overweight thirty-something who JUST WANTS TO GET OUT OF HERE?

A word of advice dearies- I may be older and heavier, but I can still slap you stupid.

Plus it will work out my bingo wings.

Is it me..?

Hi there.

I thought I'd start a blog in order to say things that I am sure other people must think too but are too polite to vocalise.

I am a thirty-something mother of two who has just completed a post-graduate diploma - with, it would seem, little point other than to allow banks to charge me interest on the £4000 university course fees- (more on that later) - and to conclude that it's a very expensive way to get a lot of your hopes dashed as it slowly dawns that the working world prefers young, and, more importantly, CHEAP.

I need to lose weight, de-stress, get some Botox - or similar - injections, try not to let my head explode when nothing can be found each morning 5 minutes before school, try and have some kind of schedule to my life, plus...well, you get the picture.

I'm afraid, dear people, that I intend to hold no prisoners, so those who are easily offended go and follow some fluffy blog about Take That instead.

Happy reading.